Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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