He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
