i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize