do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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