Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize