Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
