I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The air was thick with penises
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
