My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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