I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
