Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
