my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
