I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
