id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
