Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
