but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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