Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
