She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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