ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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