remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
