If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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