i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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