thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize