Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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