Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
