Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize