Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
