Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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