$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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