(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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