This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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