you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
