There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize