i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
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That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
