C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
