Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize