i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
