Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
