my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
