he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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