i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
