Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
