OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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