I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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