why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
