look no pants
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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