So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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