why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
