Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
