How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
