made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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