I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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