my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize