I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i believe in u and ur pee
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
