He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We had to coat check the pizza.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize