I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
