I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My vagina is officially offended.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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