it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
even my farts smell like vagina
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
