Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize