it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
