If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
