as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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