Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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