I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
