I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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