So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
